In good Company

My family LOVES Halloween. Despite the fact that we don't go a single day without my kids dressing up in some way or another- Halloween actually gives them a reason to.

Not to mention the excitement of trick or treating, carving pumpkins, and class parties at school. Hence today.

Admittedly, I have kept Abby home from school this week. Not because she was sick- but because I didn't want her to GET sick.

She's hated every moment of it, and this morning, she flat out refused to stay home and miss her Halloween party when she felt just fine. Reluctantly I let my princess go. But don't be fooled- she's the sole owner of her own bottle of hand sanitizer and I threatened Trick or Treating if she didn't go through half of that bottle today!

I don't think I over reacted.

Doesn't she look like the perfect princess.
I had to roll my eyes when I dropped her off at school and in the perfect princess voice, and with a slight English accent, she politely said, "Good bye Mother."

um..."Good bye my dramatic daughter."



Then there was John's costume. Now you'll be proud to know that I did NOT keep John home all week.

But that's only because I need his paycheck.

Today he left for school looking like some delinquent Surfer...guy. I actually think he looked pretty good, and apparently lots of his students think he should grow his hair out.

Yeah, that'll happen soon.

Anyways that has been the Halloween Fun so far. It's been a fun distraction today, as I think the anxiety is getting to me.

I tell ya, it's a slippery slope folks between where I'm at and completely WIGGIN OUT!

But I think I'm in good company for that!

What do you think?

Happy Trick or Treating!!!

To Do it- Or not to

Nothing has been more stressful to me this week then the whole debate about H1N1. There is so much I don't know about this flu. But here's what I do know.

* It IS in our community. Big time.

* I DO know several people who had it, and do have it

* The doctors have visited all local schools warning kids about it

* The complications can be especially harmful to a pregnant woman/ newborns.

* I know of one young girl who potentially has it and her symptoms are so minimal. Perhaps the average healthy person is more then capable of fighting this virus on their own.

* That said, I also know of a little boy in our ward who had swine flu last week, who is now in Lethbridge with pneumonia and other complications.

It's an unpredictable virus, and perhaps that is the only thing people actually agree on.

So given the facts that I do know- I've really struggled this week about what I should do about it. How do you protect your children when the virus is everywhere? Do I keep my kids home from school, even if they feel well? Do I vaccinate them, ...No? How do you know what to do when there are so many different opinions out there.

Wait- I take that back. It doesn't seem like there are many different opinions, it seems as though there are only two very opposing opinions. 1) Vaccinate or else you put your family and loved ones at serious risk or 2) you'd be a fool to vaccinate because it is more harmful then the virus.

Most people I have talked with (and everyone is talking about this) has chosen a side, and feel strongly about their perspective.

It has been a bit frustrating to try to get answers this week, when those giving the answers are so determinedly convinced and adamant about one or the other. Both sides express their opinions with so much passion to the extreme that it is hard to see through to the real truth. I find I am equally swayed depending on who I'm listening too.

The thought of having a baby in the next couple of days and contemplating all of the people who will want to get up close and look at him, hold him, and all the kids who will want to touch him and kiss him- ewwww that has me feeling so squeamish.

The other day, I called Health Link, local nurses, and spoke with my Obgyn all of whom stressed the importance of getting myself and my family vaccinated. Not only did they stress that but they emphasized how crucial it was to be vaccinated before the baby arrives if at all possible.

So, in haste, I loaded up the kids and drove 40 minutes to a neighboring town. I stood in line, with my kids, AMIDST CONTRACTIONS for 3 hours and ensured that we all received the vaccine. After spending the entire afternoon doing this, and one speeding ticket later (I'm sure Abby will fill anyone in on this if you want details) we made it home. Home, where I sat down on the couch and asked myself- "was all of that worth it?"

I hadn't been sitting for 5 minutes before I heard on Tv, and later read from Doctors who insist the vaccine is more harmful then the virus, and that they would never NEVER give it to their children. AHHHHHH!!! By the time John arrived from work I was a mess and certain that our kids would soon become autistic or develop some other sort of autoimmune disease.


I have second guessed myself over and over again. Did I make the right decision? I don't know.

As a Mother, I go through my days trying to do the best I can for my family, making the best decisions I can, with the information that I have at that time. Isn't that All we can do?

Am I always the most rational? Maybe not.
Am I sometimes wrong? Most definately.

But my intentions are good.

I hope that once this baby FINALLY decides to grace us with his presence- I hope my nerves will settle a bit. That said, if they don't I hope others will be ok with that. I hope people won't be offended if I don't want visitors, or people holding my little guy, or kids getting close to him.

I hope that they don't take it personally and recognize that I'm simply trying to protect my family from something I know so little about.

It's "WEIGH"ing me down!

Yeah I know that I have not officially reached my due date, but in my mind this baby is FAR too late on it's arrival. The scale is quickly pushing a 60 pound weight gain.

Is it just me, or does this not seem like it has been the longest pregnancy EVER!

Earlier in the week I packed up all of my maternity clothes, threw them in a garbage bag and got rid of them. I think this was my way of sending a message out to the Universe that I was ready for this all to be done.

Instead, I'll be wearing John's clothes A LOT this week.

I have a friend who has been pregnant along with me. We had similar due dates. Unfortunately, Ive spent the last few weeks obnoxiously bragging to everybody in our ward that I was "so going to have my baby first."

Yesterday she had a healthy little boy.

Today- I ate humble pie.

Come on little guy - What are you waiting for?

And what is every one's opinion on Castor oil?

It's sinking in...

Here is one thing I've realized this week:

I am going to have a baby...before the sour cream in my fridge expires!

It's true- it says so, right there, on the rim of the container. November 4th.

No matter what- our 4th child will be here before that date ever arrives. (long before hopefully)

AHHHH!

I can not express the gamut of emotions that flow through me as I contemplate the closeness of our upcoming arrival. The first thing I feel is a crushing sense of FEAR and DREAD!

This is really going to hurt.

You know how everybody always says that you "forget" all about the "bad" parts of labor as soon as the baby comes. Well that is a big LIE! Sure you forget about it- for a while. But then one day you find yourself 10 days away from repeating the same experience and it HITS YOU! You really haven't forgotten a thing- and you know exactly what you are in for.

And what's more- There is NO turning back.

Once that initial thought runs it's course through my mind, I'm often overcome with a overwhelming desire to meet this little being. This creature that up until recently I've only ever been willing to call "leechy little thing." Suddenly every kick and movement reminds me that it is there, and real, and mine...and he will be here soon.

There is no turning back- and I'm so glad!

How is it possible to feel wracked with such dread and yet soothed with excited anticipation - all at the same time?

And who knew that opening my fridge could invoke such emotion?

Halloween's Past

I've been thinking lately about what my kids should be for Halloween.

Any time I try to bring up the subject the kids burst out into shouts and screams of EVERY single thing they want to be, which happens to change by the minute. Sam wants to be Batman. But oh yeah also Spider man. And can I help him to shoot webs? Abby is torn between being Cinderella and a Cowgirl. Her solution is to simply be both at different times throughout the Day. She makes it sound so easy. She's always been a problem solver. Jessica I think will be content with anything...until it is time to put a coat on top of her chosen costume. Then all heck WILL break loose!

I LOVE Halloween! It is one of my favorite Holidays. Partly because it happens in the fall, and partly because I have so many memories of my Dad, and his efforts to make this spooky night a Great one! Due to my overzealous love of this Holiday I took it upon myself two years ago, to plan the perfect costume for the entire family!

The theme was The Wizard of Oz.

How did that work out?

Well Jessica was as cute as a button, dressed in her little witchy costume, and she was such a happy baby she didn't put up a fight. (That's why she was my favorite child back then.)

After making Abby watch the old version of the Wizard of Oz about 10 times she happily agreed to be Dorothy. The only problem was that none of the other kids at school had any clue who Dorothy was, and by the end of the day Abby had grown tired of trying to explain it.

I of course was happy to be the scarecrow. John....well....kudos to him for playing along. The dimples in his face tell me how cheesy he thought this all was. This is his, "This is the dumbest thing ever but I'll do it because I'm afraid not to" smile.

And then there was Sam. Our Brave and Courageous lion who was in the end afraid of his own costume. He is NOT smiling in this picture.
Five minutes after this photo was taken he was wearing a green frog costume, and there was nothing, NOTHING I could do about it. (And that is why he was NOT my favorite child that year.)

So that was us. Dorothy, a witch, a scarecrow, the tin man and ... kermit.

It was then, that I vowed to never NEVER work as hard to collaborate something cute for Halloween ever again. They can all go as mismatched, last minute "whatevers" if that is how they want it.

And actually the more I think about it, the more I realize that there is a very distinct possibility that I will be spending Halloween in the only equivalent to a Five Star Hotel that I will probably ever know.

Better known as ... The Maternity Ward.

What I should really be asking is, "What will my sister JEWEL dress my kids up as this year?"

In just a few weeks...

Just a few weeks ago, this is what my garden looked like.

Beautiful blooming gladiolas, potatoes, carrots, beets ready to harvest. Chard and strawberries in abundance. It was FULL of life.


One week ago- it we turned it into this. I spent two days digging up those vegetables telling myself with each awkward bend that this is the work that builds character. Or if nothing else...induces labor! :) Once John got home from work, he had it all nicely tilled and ready for winter in no time.

One day after that....
Winter Came.

A lot can happen in just a few weeks.

Just a few more weeks!

The most productive weekend!

I love love LOVE General Conference Weekend. I think it is wonderful that twice a year the leaders of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints unanimously bear testimony and teach the members. I always feel a renewed desire to be a little bit better, and make a LOT of changes in my home as well as personally to align my life with that of our Savior's.

I also love the fact that we can hear our apostles speak from the comfort of our own home. Not only is this weekend the most spiritually productive weekend, but it is also the most temporally productive weekend as well.

For example, in between sessions today, John and I finished preparing our garden for the snow. Not an hour after we finished tilling the soil did we notice snowflakes falling. Great timing! We also drained our hoses, cleaned the garage and packed away all of our summer toys, inflatable pools and tubes until next summer. During the talks I sorted all of our family photos and arranged them in albums for each of the kids, sorted all closets and drawers replacing summer clothes with winter ones, unpacked winter gear, and printed off the past six months of this blog, and budgeted our finances.

Phew! I really do reserve the above activities to do twice a year, always during the Saturday sessions. Of course, tomorrow we will tackle very little if anything during the two Sunday sessions.

Now, lest you think I didn't pay attention to the talks- I did. In fact I loved Elder Uchtdorf's talk (big surprise there) and one of my favorite lines from his message was that, "LOVE should be our walk and our talk!"

Elder Bednar also gave a great talk that caused me to neglect the folding of clothes for a moment. His council for us all to be MORE diligent and concerned at Home is a message I know John and I will both take to heart.

See I listened!

In fact I think I listened better then John did.

How do I know that.


....because his EYES were CLOSED for a large part of it!!!

First snowfall of the year

Sure I had to drive to Waterton to see the snow, as it never did actually fall here, so I don't know if that counts as the first snowfall of the year. In the mountains though- it was gorgeous! Sam, Jess and I made a quick trip out while John and Abby were in school. We drove up to Red Rock on the "roller coaster road" which made Sam squeal!! On the way down we saw a HUGE black bear, probably preparing for the newly arrived winter. The highlight for me was the lunch we enjoyed in the town site. Sam and Jess shared a burger and fries, and I had the coziest bowl of homemade harvest vegetable soup.

I love days like that.







A large amount of the Waterton forest trees are still very green and have yet to turn those beautiful fall colors. Next week though, I bet it will all be AMAZING!