Life Lesson #478,592

Sometimes when I sit down to journal about the Days in the life of my family I struggle to know how much of my life I should share. Do I only share the positive or funny moments? Do I share the bad days or leave them out? Do I write about those moments when I perhaps have not demonstrated my best self as far as Motherhood goes- or do I gloss over them and hope that my children don't remember those days down the road? After contemplating that thought over the past couple of weeks, I've realized that the premise of this blog was to do all of the above. To record the DAYS that happen in Our Lives! We are, after all, products of our own experiences now aren't we, and so I've determined that this post will be uncensored and will contain a synopsis of our recent experiences. The good, the bad, and the down right UGLY.

On that note- this summer has been absolutely DUMB! And when I say dumb, I mean it stank! As in "stupid, dumb, boring -hate it!" How's that for a good attitude? I've been sick for most of it, battling what I thought was a weird eye/sinus infection/ allergic reaction type thing. And then there was that sprained ankle that I thought I'd acquired on this Hike, which I spent weeks hobbling around on crutches because of, even though it never really seemed to heal. One day I noticed that the supposed "sprain" began to spread until every single joint in my body was swollen and painful. After some initial blood work, we learned that it was likely not a sprain I was dealing (duh!), and those eyes were not red because of allergies - but rather they were both connected and perhaps a sign of something more serious. The preliminary diagnosis was Lupus. For days and days I tried to come to terms with that. Then opinions seemed to change to that of Rheumatoid arthritis. Most recently a specialist in Calgary has calmed many of my anxieties and told me that I definately have a type of arthritis, though hopefully a much milder and more manageable form than we initially feared. We need to wait for test results before ruling other things out and confirming what this is, but I feel a renewed sense of hope now that we are in the process of figuring this out.


Thankfully, the pain I felt for the past couple of weeks that once felt so debilitating, is now subsiding and life is feeling more and more like "normal" to me again. I have learned a few important lessons about myself through this experience that I hope not to forget. I have to admit it was a bit disappointing to realize how quickly I lost all desire to be optimistic as soon as I no longer enjoyed the comfort and conveniences that I had taken for granted up until now. In short, I have handled life like an absolute chicken. And not a cute little chicken like this:

But rather, a down right, selfish, coward of a chicken. It was a difficult realization for me that I too easily allow FEAR to take over and control how I respond to things. I would like to think that I'm not the type of person who would buckle so quickly under pressure, but I suppose moments like this reveal to us a bit of who we really are. Fortunately, I managed to let only those closest to me see me at my lowest. You know - John, the kids, my brother and sisters, a few of my "luckier" neighbors, oh yeah and my visiting teaching companion and let's see...oh anybody else who happened to ask my how I was at any given moment. There is nothing like being discreet eh! Can you say BIG BABY? I have spent many days trying to FOCUS on the true sources of strength in my life, and despite the fact that I've let this little blip consume so much of our family time lately - there have been some great moments in between that are definitely worth mentioning:




School began this past week! The biggest excitement this year has got to be the fact that Sam has now officially entered the wonderful world of kindergarten. My sister Jewel was so kind to take Sam to school each day this week for me, so I spent most of each day imagining that Sam had perhaps grown out of his rambunctious behaviour that was so typical of him at preschool. However, on Friday I talked with his teacher, who kindly and politely mentioned that Sam sure is "a very busy and silly boy." For example, there was Wednesday when I made the mistake of sending a banana in his lunch box for snack. Naturally, this meant that he had to act like a MONKEY for the rest of the day! There is a part of me that is tempted to just have Jewel drop him off and pick him up indefinitely. I'd rather not know how things are going!

Abigail was SOO excited to begin grade 2, especially because she now gets to have my Aunt Karen as her teacher. She proudly comes home and exclaims that she is the only one who gets to call her teacher "Aunt Karen" while all the other kids have to simply say, "Mrs. Toone!" Abby came home discouraged one day though- because she just wasn't sure if she wanted to remain a member of the BOY HATERS CLUB. For a moment I was touched by her all inclusive sense of kindness, but in the end I encouraged her to continue hating those boys - for just a few more years!




The start of school also marks the end of John's Time off which is always hard for me to come to terms with. September is by far the busiest month for us. Not only does John go back to work, but he immediately begins coaching volleyball which always makes for a hectic time. This year he will likely be even busier then ever as he was recently called to be the Young Men's President in our ward. That is September in our family for ya, and you know what... it really is not that bad. John juggles things well, and I have a renewed desire to be more supportive(ish) of all that he needs to do.

Jessica has felt dreadfully left out this past week as every body else leaves for the day with bag lunches and book bags in tow. I've had to appease her with promises of future walks to the park, mornings reading books, and lots of crafts! She seems to have accepted all of the above and asks me every five minutes if it is time now for her "Special Mom School" to begin.




Little Nate has begun walking! His steps are limited to under a dozen at the moment, and they are still shy and unsteady - but he is taking those steps - and his eyes light up EVERY time he manages to walk further then he did before!


Yesterday we drove out to Waterton for the first time in weeks and weeks! It was packed, and John and I resolved to never go out there during Labor Day weekend again. Still though- it felt good to be in the mountains again, even if we did have to share them with hundreds of other people. John took the kids out onto the lake and they managed to find a spot that was secluded enough for them to catch a fish. I sat along the shore and watched the people around me, and tried to listen for Sam and Abby's excited shouts that floated across the water every time they got even a bite. The leaves are just barely beginning to change color and I am looking forward to a lot of beautiful days out there this fall. September and October are by far the two BEST months in Waterton!

Our Sunday schedule has changed and today we were finished church by 11:30 am. Can I hear an AMEN to that! It was glorious. We spent the afternoon napping, reading, eating, painting together, and soon we will settle down with a bowl of popcorn to watch Americas Funniest Home Videos before the kids go to bed. Can a day get any better than that?

Today I'm feeling especially grateful for all of the blessings in my life. For siblings and family who are always there for us. For kids who make me forget myself, and for a steady rock solid husband who sees and knows all my faults, yet never holds that against me! Now is that love or is that love!

Have a great Holiday Monday!!