Okay.
Clearly it has become important to me to journal/document some of our story before the blog, so please allow me to share just a few more things about my courtship with John that I want my kids to one day know.
1.
Around thanksgiving 2000 a boy I had been dating (let's say is name was Matt. Because it was) broke up with me. Though I knew at the time that this boy was not the one for me, the realization that I was 20 years old, had had two boyfriends already and had somehow not found my true love yet - devastated me. One day a roommate of mine came up to my room and sat on my bed to chat. She explained to me that though there were lots of nice guys in Edmonton, she just had a feeling that my husband was not here. That my husband was at BYU. She encouraged me to consider applying for school down there. Looking back, she may have just been trying to get rid of me (I did have the nicest room in the house) but her encouragement left me feeling very stuck. There was no way I could go to BYU. I couldn't afford it and I knew I'd never get accepted either. I drove to the newly built Edmonton temple and sat in the parking lot. As rain poured down around me (cue the melodramatic "woe me I'm 20 and not married music") I prayed to Heavenly Father to help me recognize who I should date in the future. I explained that I can't go to BYU, but if the man I am supposed to marry is there, then please send him to me. That was the prayer I prayed that rainy night.
Just a month or two later, John moved up to Edmonton, from none other than BYU. dum dum dum!
I share for two reasons: a) I like to think that John was quite literally an answer to my prayer. b) I hope my daughters will never attend post secondary school with the same mentality that I had. I hope they will leave home, spread their beautiful wings, worry little, and trust that God will always place the right people in their path! And for heaven's sakes- if that doesn't happen until you are 38
- all the better!!! (I like to think my daughters will handle life more maturely than me;)
2.
John and I don't often talk about this (why would we) but there was a period of time in which we had actually broken up. We'd been dating for a few months when things just sort of started to feel stale and when I asked John if he was happy to be dating (after a day or two of thinking about it) he responded that perhaps he was not. Ouch, right?!
Not really.
This time apart ended up being a really good opportunity for us to really consider what we wanted in a spouse. Unlike previous breakups, I wasn't devastated, this time. A part of me suspected that this could be temporary and I saw it as an opportunity to improve myself and to really work on being genuine. John saw it as an opportunity to ask a couple of other girls out (haha). Ultimately, two months after we had broken up, John asked if he could meet with me. He told me that he had attended a hardy reunion of sorts and had run into his cousin Kendall and my sister Jewel. He said that Kendall had asked him a question about our break up that had really got John thinking and he had come to the conclusion that we needed to give things another shot. I wasn't shocked or elated either. It just kinda felt normal and obvious but things were definitely better from that point on. We both just kinda new that we would eventually marry, only now we had the added advantage of being a little bit wiser and more genuine with each other.
What I want my kids to always remember is that there is no perfect way to fall or be in love.
Forget every cheesy movie you'll ever watch. Love yourself first and treat everyone you ever meet with as much kindness as you possibly can. If you do that, I promise that your beautiful amazing life, a life full of LOVE, will unfold exactly as it should!
Oh, and one more thing. Please kids - never ever be fake.
Ever.
If you aren't intentional about living true to who you are, I worry that you might one day find yourself sitting high up in a deer blind pretending that you like to hunt when you don't! Okay, I'm not really afraid you'll do specifically that, but that is just an example of where you could end up if you pretend to be someone you aren't - just to impress someone. Trust me, I was that person stuck in a tree.
It took finding your Dad for me to really want to be myself. And perhaps, that is how you will know when you've found "the one" for you. When you finally find that person in your life who's worth being real for. (For me, thats your Dad.) It's a pretty spectacular and comforting feeling.
The end
What I want my kids to always remember is that there is no perfect way to fall or be in love.
Forget every cheesy movie you'll ever watch. Love yourself first and treat everyone you ever meet with as much kindness as you possibly can. If you do that, I promise that your beautiful amazing life, a life full of LOVE, will unfold exactly as it should!
Oh, and one more thing. Please kids - never ever be fake.
Ever.
If you aren't intentional about living true to who you are, I worry that you might one day find yourself sitting high up in a deer blind pretending that you like to hunt when you don't! Okay, I'm not really afraid you'll do specifically that, but that is just an example of where you could end up if you pretend to be someone you aren't - just to impress someone. Trust me, I was that person stuck in a tree.
It took finding your Dad for me to really want to be myself. And perhaps, that is how you will know when you've found "the one" for you. When you finally find that person in your life who's worth being real for. (For me, thats your Dad.) It's a pretty spectacular and comforting feeling.
The end
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