Nathan Randall Hardy

Nathan Randall Hardy, born November 1, 2009. A healthy 9 lbs, 3 oz.

1 Samuel 1:27 "For this child, [we] prayed, and the Lord hath given [us our] petition which [we] asked of him."

Nathan is a Hebrew name meaning "God has given."

We will be sharing more of our joy with you over the next few days. Stay tuned for more updates!!!

In good Company

My family LOVES Halloween. Despite the fact that we don't go a single day without my kids dressing up in some way or another- Halloween actually gives them a reason to.

Not to mention the excitement of trick or treating, carving pumpkins, and class parties at school. Hence today.

Admittedly, I have kept Abby home from school this week. Not because she was sick- but because I didn't want her to GET sick.

She's hated every moment of it, and this morning, she flat out refused to stay home and miss her Halloween party when she felt just fine. Reluctantly I let my princess go. But don't be fooled- she's the sole owner of her own bottle of hand sanitizer and I threatened Trick or Treating if she didn't go through half of that bottle today!

I don't think I over reacted.

Doesn't she look like the perfect princess.
I had to roll my eyes when I dropped her off at school and in the perfect princess voice, and with a slight English accent, she politely said, "Good bye Mother."

um..."Good bye my dramatic daughter."



Then there was John's costume. Now you'll be proud to know that I did NOT keep John home all week.

But that's only because I need his paycheck.

Today he left for school looking like some delinquent Surfer...guy. I actually think he looked pretty good, and apparently lots of his students think he should grow his hair out.

Yeah, that'll happen soon.

Anyways that has been the Halloween Fun so far. It's been a fun distraction today, as I think the anxiety is getting to me.

I tell ya, it's a slippery slope folks between where I'm at and completely WIGGIN OUT!

But I think I'm in good company for that!

What do you think?

Happy Trick or Treating!!!

To Do it- Or not to

Nothing has been more stressful to me this week then the whole debate about H1N1. There is so much I don't know about this flu. But here's what I do know.

* It IS in our community. Big time.

* I DO know several people who had it, and do have it

* The doctors have visited all local schools warning kids about it

* The complications can be especially harmful to a pregnant woman/ newborns.

* I know of one young girl who potentially has it and her symptoms are so minimal. Perhaps the average healthy person is more then capable of fighting this virus on their own.

* That said, I also know of a little boy in our ward who had swine flu last week, who is now in Lethbridge with pneumonia and other complications.

It's an unpredictable virus, and perhaps that is the only thing people actually agree on.

So given the facts that I do know- I've really struggled this week about what I should do about it. How do you protect your children when the virus is everywhere? Do I keep my kids home from school, even if they feel well? Do I vaccinate them, ...No? How do you know what to do when there are so many different opinions out there.

Wait- I take that back. It doesn't seem like there are many different opinions, it seems as though there are only two very opposing opinions. 1) Vaccinate or else you put your family and loved ones at serious risk or 2) you'd be a fool to vaccinate because it is more harmful then the virus.

Most people I have talked with (and everyone is talking about this) has chosen a side, and feel strongly about their perspective.

It has been a bit frustrating to try to get answers this week, when those giving the answers are so determinedly convinced and adamant about one or the other. Both sides express their opinions with so much passion to the extreme that it is hard to see through to the real truth. I find I am equally swayed depending on who I'm listening too.

The thought of having a baby in the next couple of days and contemplating all of the people who will want to get up close and look at him, hold him, and all the kids who will want to touch him and kiss him- ewwww that has me feeling so squeamish.

The other day, I called Health Link, local nurses, and spoke with my Obgyn all of whom stressed the importance of getting myself and my family vaccinated. Not only did they stress that but they emphasized how crucial it was to be vaccinated before the baby arrives if at all possible.

So, in haste, I loaded up the kids and drove 40 minutes to a neighboring town. I stood in line, with my kids, AMIDST CONTRACTIONS for 3 hours and ensured that we all received the vaccine. After spending the entire afternoon doing this, and one speeding ticket later (I'm sure Abby will fill anyone in on this if you want details) we made it home. Home, where I sat down on the couch and asked myself- "was all of that worth it?"

I hadn't been sitting for 5 minutes before I heard on Tv, and later read from Doctors who insist the vaccine is more harmful then the virus, and that they would never NEVER give it to their children. AHHHHHH!!! By the time John arrived from work I was a mess and certain that our kids would soon become autistic or develop some other sort of autoimmune disease.


I have second guessed myself over and over again. Did I make the right decision? I don't know.

As a Mother, I go through my days trying to do the best I can for my family, making the best decisions I can, with the information that I have at that time. Isn't that All we can do?

Am I always the most rational? Maybe not.
Am I sometimes wrong? Most definately.

But my intentions are good.

I hope that once this baby FINALLY decides to grace us with his presence- I hope my nerves will settle a bit. That said, if they don't I hope others will be ok with that. I hope people won't be offended if I don't want visitors, or people holding my little guy, or kids getting close to him.

I hope that they don't take it personally and recognize that I'm simply trying to protect my family from something I know so little about.

It's "WEIGH"ing me down!

Yeah I know that I have not officially reached my due date, but in my mind this baby is FAR too late on it's arrival. The scale is quickly pushing a 60 pound weight gain.

Is it just me, or does this not seem like it has been the longest pregnancy EVER!

Earlier in the week I packed up all of my maternity clothes, threw them in a garbage bag and got rid of them. I think this was my way of sending a message out to the Universe that I was ready for this all to be done.

Instead, I'll be wearing John's clothes A LOT this week.

I have a friend who has been pregnant along with me. We had similar due dates. Unfortunately, Ive spent the last few weeks obnoxiously bragging to everybody in our ward that I was "so going to have my baby first."

Yesterday she had a healthy little boy.

Today- I ate humble pie.

Come on little guy - What are you waiting for?

And what is every one's opinion on Castor oil?

It's sinking in...

Here is one thing I've realized this week:

I am going to have a baby...before the sour cream in my fridge expires!

It's true- it says so, right there, on the rim of the container. November 4th.

No matter what- our 4th child will be here before that date ever arrives. (long before hopefully)

AHHHH!

I can not express the gamut of emotions that flow through me as I contemplate the closeness of our upcoming arrival. The first thing I feel is a crushing sense of FEAR and DREAD!

This is really going to hurt.

You know how everybody always says that you "forget" all about the "bad" parts of labor as soon as the baby comes. Well that is a big LIE! Sure you forget about it- for a while. But then one day you find yourself 10 days away from repeating the same experience and it HITS YOU! You really haven't forgotten a thing- and you know exactly what you are in for.

And what's more- There is NO turning back.

Once that initial thought runs it's course through my mind, I'm often overcome with a overwhelming desire to meet this little being. This creature that up until recently I've only ever been willing to call "leechy little thing." Suddenly every kick and movement reminds me that it is there, and real, and mine...and he will be here soon.

There is no turning back- and I'm so glad!

How is it possible to feel wracked with such dread and yet soothed with excited anticipation - all at the same time?

And who knew that opening my fridge could invoke such emotion?

Halloween's Past

I've been thinking lately about what my kids should be for Halloween.

Any time I try to bring up the subject the kids burst out into shouts and screams of EVERY single thing they want to be, which happens to change by the minute. Sam wants to be Batman. But oh yeah also Spider man. And can I help him to shoot webs? Abby is torn between being Cinderella and a Cowgirl. Her solution is to simply be both at different times throughout the Day. She makes it sound so easy. She's always been a problem solver. Jessica I think will be content with anything...until it is time to put a coat on top of her chosen costume. Then all heck WILL break loose!

I LOVE Halloween! It is one of my favorite Holidays. Partly because it happens in the fall, and partly because I have so many memories of my Dad, and his efforts to make this spooky night a Great one! Due to my overzealous love of this Holiday I took it upon myself two years ago, to plan the perfect costume for the entire family!

The theme was The Wizard of Oz.

How did that work out?

Well Jessica was as cute as a button, dressed in her little witchy costume, and she was such a happy baby she didn't put up a fight. (That's why she was my favorite child back then.)

After making Abby watch the old version of the Wizard of Oz about 10 times she happily agreed to be Dorothy. The only problem was that none of the other kids at school had any clue who Dorothy was, and by the end of the day Abby had grown tired of trying to explain it.

I of course was happy to be the scarecrow. John....well....kudos to him for playing along. The dimples in his face tell me how cheesy he thought this all was. This is his, "This is the dumbest thing ever but I'll do it because I'm afraid not to" smile.

And then there was Sam. Our Brave and Courageous lion who was in the end afraid of his own costume. He is NOT smiling in this picture.
Five minutes after this photo was taken he was wearing a green frog costume, and there was nothing, NOTHING I could do about it. (And that is why he was NOT my favorite child that year.)

So that was us. Dorothy, a witch, a scarecrow, the tin man and ... kermit.

It was then, that I vowed to never NEVER work as hard to collaborate something cute for Halloween ever again. They can all go as mismatched, last minute "whatevers" if that is how they want it.

And actually the more I think about it, the more I realize that there is a very distinct possibility that I will be spending Halloween in the only equivalent to a Five Star Hotel that I will probably ever know.

Better known as ... The Maternity Ward.

What I should really be asking is, "What will my sister JEWEL dress my kids up as this year?"

In just a few weeks...

Just a few weeks ago, this is what my garden looked like.

Beautiful blooming gladiolas, potatoes, carrots, beets ready to harvest. Chard and strawberries in abundance. It was FULL of life.


One week ago- it we turned it into this. I spent two days digging up those vegetables telling myself with each awkward bend that this is the work that builds character. Or if nothing else...induces labor! :) Once John got home from work, he had it all nicely tilled and ready for winter in no time.

One day after that....
Winter Came.

A lot can happen in just a few weeks.

Just a few more weeks!

The most productive weekend!

I love love LOVE General Conference Weekend. I think it is wonderful that twice a year the leaders of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints unanimously bear testimony and teach the members. I always feel a renewed desire to be a little bit better, and make a LOT of changes in my home as well as personally to align my life with that of our Savior's.

I also love the fact that we can hear our apostles speak from the comfort of our own home. Not only is this weekend the most spiritually productive weekend, but it is also the most temporally productive weekend as well.

For example, in between sessions today, John and I finished preparing our garden for the snow. Not an hour after we finished tilling the soil did we notice snowflakes falling. Great timing! We also drained our hoses, cleaned the garage and packed away all of our summer toys, inflatable pools and tubes until next summer. During the talks I sorted all of our family photos and arranged them in albums for each of the kids, sorted all closets and drawers replacing summer clothes with winter ones, unpacked winter gear, and printed off the past six months of this blog, and budgeted our finances.

Phew! I really do reserve the above activities to do twice a year, always during the Saturday sessions. Of course, tomorrow we will tackle very little if anything during the two Sunday sessions.

Now, lest you think I didn't pay attention to the talks- I did. In fact I loved Elder Uchtdorf's talk (big surprise there) and one of my favorite lines from his message was that, "LOVE should be our walk and our talk!"

Elder Bednar also gave a great talk that caused me to neglect the folding of clothes for a moment. His council for us all to be MORE diligent and concerned at Home is a message I know John and I will both take to heart.

See I listened!

In fact I think I listened better then John did.

How do I know that.


....because his EYES were CLOSED for a large part of it!!!

First snowfall of the year

Sure I had to drive to Waterton to see the snow, as it never did actually fall here, so I don't know if that counts as the first snowfall of the year. In the mountains though- it was gorgeous! Sam, Jess and I made a quick trip out while John and Abby were in school. We drove up to Red Rock on the "roller coaster road" which made Sam squeal!! On the way down we saw a HUGE black bear, probably preparing for the newly arrived winter. The highlight for me was the lunch we enjoyed in the town site. Sam and Jess shared a burger and fries, and I had the coziest bowl of homemade harvest vegetable soup.

I love days like that.







A large amount of the Waterton forest trees are still very green and have yet to turn those beautiful fall colors. Next week though, I bet it will all be AMAZING!

The Ninth Month

It is a delightfully rainy morning. Abby took her umbrella to school today, and wore her thick fleecy sweater. I just wanted to curl up next to her she looked so cozy. I love mornings like this- they always help to slow things down a bit. I can't weed, or rake or mow when it is raining. In fact I think if it were to drop a degree or two in temperature these raindrops could just turn to snow! Love it.

Life has been busy lately. Not much to report as far as the home goes. It is still for sale, although we have accepted an offer (that is conditional on the sale of the buyers home.) We are hoping it all goes through.

We had placed an offer on a home that we LOVED but in a matter of a day that deal seemed to just sink...quicker then the Titanic. John and I still wonder how- but we are trying not to think about it too much. Blah. Sooo....the search continues, and every day I find myself lowering my standards more and more in regards to what I'm willing to accept as a new home.

Yes it must have a garden- but I'm resigned to the fact that it will never be as big and beautiful as what we have here.
Yes it must have a basement- though now I'm content to accept a fixer upper (which I did not want before). Yes- I once said I would NEVER NEVER live on the West side of town. Suddenly that is the only place where homes are for sale.
Yes I wanted to be in our new home by Christmas- but it is looking more and more like we may spend Christmas in a limbo state.

So we wait, and talk redundantly about our options and look at so many homes I can't keep them all straight now. Which house had the ugly bedrooms, which one had the dishwasher...etc. During the day I try hard to keep the lawn mowed, the leaves raked, and the house clean and smelling all comforting with the aroma of fresh baked goods. Cinnamon buns, pumpkin cookies, pumpkin cake, pumpkin rolls, chocolate chip cookies and bread are always being whipped up. John loves it.

As for me- I'll probably never touch a bag of flour again once this is all said and done.

Aside from the whole Home Sale/ Home Purchase part of life- things are going well.

It occurred to me today that I am officially entering my NINTH MONTH of pregnancy! Does this not seem like it has been the longest pregnancy EVER????
So far I have consumed 9 prescriptions of Diclectin, downed about 5 large packs of Tums, gone 8 months without yogurt and milk, and thrown up every day at least once.

Please don't underestimate my JOY when I say I have only 28 days more!!

Unless I can do something to shorten that time.

...Anyone know any tricks?

The Colors of Fall

Introducing my VERY MOST FAVORITE season of the year!!!

What's her problem anyways!

Abby's teeth having been falling out lately. I man seriously, she is going to look like a jack o'lantern by Halloween guaranteed! Perhaps the tooth fairy is getting a bit tired of visiting our little home I'm not sure. TWICE this week our babysitter (whom I LOVE) managed to wiggle two of Abby's teeth out.

TWICE this week the tooth fairy has completely forgotten to pay her expected visit.




What is that Fairy's PROBLEM anyways?


It literally broke my heart this morning when Abby came to me with tears and exclaimed that she'd been forgotten again!



"No No honey," I insisted, "The tooth fairy would never forget you. She must just be EXTRA busy right now."


After reassuring Abby that the tooth fairy always pays extra money when she comes late -just to make up for any inconvenience, Abby seemed to perk up a bit.


Deep down though, I fear that I may have forever altered the trust and confidence my little girl had in the make believe.

I'm a Bad Bad Mom.

There is still hope for redemption. Perhaps Santa will be able to restore that trust, for just a little bit longer.

If someone around here can manage to get their act in gear before then!

Now if you'll excuse me- I'm off to find MORE Change!

The Power of Hope

I've been reading Elder Uchdorf's talk recently The Infinite Power of Hope. I have loved every one of Elder Uchdorf's talks, in fact, his talk titled Lift where you Stand, is what motivated me to choose LIFT as my personal theme this year. How have I been doing with that theme by the way?

Don't ask. I'm afraid I've not been much of a "Lifter" this past year.

Perhaps I should have chosen HOPE as my theme for 2009.

I find that I go through these little periods in life where everything seems to require more trust. More Hope. I feel like right now, for example there are many things I find myself Hoping for in any given day. In fact sometimes it seems as though there are so many things I'm hoping for that by the end of the day I'm a frazzled ball of stress imagining all the "what ifs" and all that could go wrong with our plans.

My plan.

In the back of my mind, amidst all the errands, and cleaning and phone calls I am always thinking of one of the following:

Hoping that the offer we received on our home goes through without any glitches.

Hoping that the home we really love and want can be ours, and that it doesn't get snatched up as we wait.

Hoping that this baby will come soon. :)

Hoping that it will be healthy. ...and cute.

Hoping that my volleyball coach husband will actually be able to be there when it is born. Therefore, hoping that his boys lose every game POSSIBLE! (jks)

I know that my worries and circumstances are much less bleak then those of others. In fact, minor in comparison. I find myself hoping for them too.

Like the woman I know who is in the middle of chemotherapy. Hoping she has more good days then bad.

Or my neighbor who has just been told that there is a medical problem but she must wait to speak with the specialist- two weeks from now. Hoping it is nothing too serious.

I love what Elder Uchdorf says about Hope.
"Hope is like the beam of sunlight rising up and above the horizon of our present circumstances. It pierces the darkness with a brilliant dawn. It encourages and inspires us to place our trust in the loving care of an eternal Heavenly Father, who has prepared a way for those who seek for eternal truth in a world of relativism, confusion, and fear."

"Hope is not knowledge, ...it is confidence that if we live accordingly we will receive desired blessings in the future. It is believing and expecting that our prayers will be answered. It is manifest in confidence, optimism, enthusiasm, and patient perseverance."

Whenever I read this talk I find myself asking afterwards, "what am I worrying about anyways?" So much of what we worry about is out of our hands.

And in much better hands then ours.

Abby started piano lessons this week. Her teacher lives a few doors down from my sister so the highlight for Abby is that she gets to walk to Ava and Mya's house each Monday morning after her lesson. I'm not kidding- that is going to be enough motivation to keep her practicing like a good little girl ALL year. And bless her heart,, she needs the practice! It's an exercise for me in patience as I sit with her and watch her plunk out...each... and...every...note...with such caution. I'm hoping that deep down in her is some inherited talent from her Dad and her Grandma Marilyn. Heaven knows it isn't going to come from my genes!


This weekend we enjoyed a nice wiener roast in Waterton. The kids ate very little. Abby spent most of her time cooking hot dogs and marshmallows for everyone else. Off in the distance Sam practiced his jedi/light sabre moves with two roasting sticks, and Jessica tried to master the art of the s'more. She didn't get far.

The leaves have not yet turned the stunning fall colors yet, but they are beginning to. The Elk have started gathering in the lower meadows, and I'm hoping that in the next week or so it will be perfect for pictures!

Friday evening I got to take family photos for a family who isn't even related to me. That doesn't happen often! I was a tad bit nervous, as I really didn't know this family well, and lets face it, I'm really not a photographer. But practice is something I'll never turn down. It turned out to be a LOT of fun.

After we were finished with pictures, John pulled out the old F27 Stryker, because it has become customary to fly EVERY time we are up by the Prince of Whales. Everything was going fine. The kids were enjoying the show, John raked in a few compliments from people watching, the sun was setting, all was going well.

We had noticed a woman in a motorized wheelchair was driving along the edge of the cliff in hopes of getting a picture. Unfortunately for her, someone's PLANE (going at FULL SPEED) HIT HER from behind!

Made her bleed!!!

I didn't know what to do as John apologized profusely, and Sam kept shouting, "Whoa...Daddy Clipped her!"

"Well this is awkward" was the only thought going through my mind.

Luckily this woman was a champ and handled the whole thing so graciously. I love people like that.


I think. I mean, no law suit yet.

No news is good news...right?

I love this photo. Each night when I go walking, and a few times a day when I drive to the Elementary School to drop off/pick up - this is what I get to look at. I find it all looks the best early in the morning, and I can't wait for the days to start getting a bit cooler. That is when (it seems) that the crispness in the air makes the mountains seem so much closer. Fall is pretty much here, though you wouldn't know it by the temperatures. I notice the leaves are starting to change and the wheat fields are all ready for harvesting.

I LOVE this time of year.