It's sinking in...

Here is one thing I've realized this week:

I am going to have a baby...before the sour cream in my fridge expires!

It's true- it says so, right there, on the rim of the container. November 4th.

No matter what- our 4th child will be here before that date ever arrives. (long before hopefully)

AHHHH!

I can not express the gamut of emotions that flow through me as I contemplate the closeness of our upcoming arrival. The first thing I feel is a crushing sense of FEAR and DREAD!

This is really going to hurt.

You know how everybody always says that you "forget" all about the "bad" parts of labor as soon as the baby comes. Well that is a big LIE! Sure you forget about it- for a while. But then one day you find yourself 10 days away from repeating the same experience and it HITS YOU! You really haven't forgotten a thing- and you know exactly what you are in for.

And what's more- There is NO turning back.

Once that initial thought runs it's course through my mind, I'm often overcome with a overwhelming desire to meet this little being. This creature that up until recently I've only ever been willing to call "leechy little thing." Suddenly every kick and movement reminds me that it is there, and real, and mine...and he will be here soon.

There is no turning back- and I'm so glad!

How is it possible to feel wracked with such dread and yet soothed with excited anticipation - all at the same time?

And who knew that opening my fridge could invoke such emotion?

Halloween's Past

I've been thinking lately about what my kids should be for Halloween.

Any time I try to bring up the subject the kids burst out into shouts and screams of EVERY single thing they want to be, which happens to change by the minute. Sam wants to be Batman. But oh yeah also Spider man. And can I help him to shoot webs? Abby is torn between being Cinderella and a Cowgirl. Her solution is to simply be both at different times throughout the Day. She makes it sound so easy. She's always been a problem solver. Jessica I think will be content with anything...until it is time to put a coat on top of her chosen costume. Then all heck WILL break loose!

I LOVE Halloween! It is one of my favorite Holidays. Partly because it happens in the fall, and partly because I have so many memories of my Dad, and his efforts to make this spooky night a Great one! Due to my overzealous love of this Holiday I took it upon myself two years ago, to plan the perfect costume for the entire family!

The theme was The Wizard of Oz.

How did that work out?

Well Jessica was as cute as a button, dressed in her little witchy costume, and she was such a happy baby she didn't put up a fight. (That's why she was my favorite child back then.)

After making Abby watch the old version of the Wizard of Oz about 10 times she happily agreed to be Dorothy. The only problem was that none of the other kids at school had any clue who Dorothy was, and by the end of the day Abby had grown tired of trying to explain it.

I of course was happy to be the scarecrow. John....well....kudos to him for playing along. The dimples in his face tell me how cheesy he thought this all was. This is his, "This is the dumbest thing ever but I'll do it because I'm afraid not to" smile.

And then there was Sam. Our Brave and Courageous lion who was in the end afraid of his own costume. He is NOT smiling in this picture.
Five minutes after this photo was taken he was wearing a green frog costume, and there was nothing, NOTHING I could do about it. (And that is why he was NOT my favorite child that year.)

So that was us. Dorothy, a witch, a scarecrow, the tin man and ... kermit.

It was then, that I vowed to never NEVER work as hard to collaborate something cute for Halloween ever again. They can all go as mismatched, last minute "whatevers" if that is how they want it.

And actually the more I think about it, the more I realize that there is a very distinct possibility that I will be spending Halloween in the only equivalent to a Five Star Hotel that I will probably ever know.

Better known as ... The Maternity Ward.

What I should really be asking is, "What will my sister JEWEL dress my kids up as this year?"

In just a few weeks...

Just a few weeks ago, this is what my garden looked like.

Beautiful blooming gladiolas, potatoes, carrots, beets ready to harvest. Chard and strawberries in abundance. It was FULL of life.


One week ago- it we turned it into this. I spent two days digging up those vegetables telling myself with each awkward bend that this is the work that builds character. Or if nothing else...induces labor! :) Once John got home from work, he had it all nicely tilled and ready for winter in no time.

One day after that....
Winter Came.

A lot can happen in just a few weeks.

Just a few more weeks!

The most productive weekend!

I love love LOVE General Conference Weekend. I think it is wonderful that twice a year the leaders of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints unanimously bear testimony and teach the members. I always feel a renewed desire to be a little bit better, and make a LOT of changes in my home as well as personally to align my life with that of our Savior's.

I also love the fact that we can hear our apostles speak from the comfort of our own home. Not only is this weekend the most spiritually productive weekend, but it is also the most temporally productive weekend as well.

For example, in between sessions today, John and I finished preparing our garden for the snow. Not an hour after we finished tilling the soil did we notice snowflakes falling. Great timing! We also drained our hoses, cleaned the garage and packed away all of our summer toys, inflatable pools and tubes until next summer. During the talks I sorted all of our family photos and arranged them in albums for each of the kids, sorted all closets and drawers replacing summer clothes with winter ones, unpacked winter gear, and printed off the past six months of this blog, and budgeted our finances.

Phew! I really do reserve the above activities to do twice a year, always during the Saturday sessions. Of course, tomorrow we will tackle very little if anything during the two Sunday sessions.

Now, lest you think I didn't pay attention to the talks- I did. In fact I loved Elder Uchtdorf's talk (big surprise there) and one of my favorite lines from his message was that, "LOVE should be our walk and our talk!"

Elder Bednar also gave a great talk that caused me to neglect the folding of clothes for a moment. His council for us all to be MORE diligent and concerned at Home is a message I know John and I will both take to heart.

See I listened!

In fact I think I listened better then John did.

How do I know that.


....because his EYES were CLOSED for a large part of it!!!

First snowfall of the year

Sure I had to drive to Waterton to see the snow, as it never did actually fall here, so I don't know if that counts as the first snowfall of the year. In the mountains though- it was gorgeous! Sam, Jess and I made a quick trip out while John and Abby were in school. We drove up to Red Rock on the "roller coaster road" which made Sam squeal!! On the way down we saw a HUGE black bear, probably preparing for the newly arrived winter. The highlight for me was the lunch we enjoyed in the town site. Sam and Jess shared a burger and fries, and I had the coziest bowl of homemade harvest vegetable soup.

I love days like that.







A large amount of the Waterton forest trees are still very green and have yet to turn those beautiful fall colors. Next week though, I bet it will all be AMAZING!

The Ninth Month

It is a delightfully rainy morning. Abby took her umbrella to school today, and wore her thick fleecy sweater. I just wanted to curl up next to her she looked so cozy. I love mornings like this- they always help to slow things down a bit. I can't weed, or rake or mow when it is raining. In fact I think if it were to drop a degree or two in temperature these raindrops could just turn to snow! Love it.

Life has been busy lately. Not much to report as far as the home goes. It is still for sale, although we have accepted an offer (that is conditional on the sale of the buyers home.) We are hoping it all goes through.

We had placed an offer on a home that we LOVED but in a matter of a day that deal seemed to just sink...quicker then the Titanic. John and I still wonder how- but we are trying not to think about it too much. Blah. Sooo....the search continues, and every day I find myself lowering my standards more and more in regards to what I'm willing to accept as a new home.

Yes it must have a garden- but I'm resigned to the fact that it will never be as big and beautiful as what we have here.
Yes it must have a basement- though now I'm content to accept a fixer upper (which I did not want before). Yes- I once said I would NEVER NEVER live on the West side of town. Suddenly that is the only place where homes are for sale.
Yes I wanted to be in our new home by Christmas- but it is looking more and more like we may spend Christmas in a limbo state.

So we wait, and talk redundantly about our options and look at so many homes I can't keep them all straight now. Which house had the ugly bedrooms, which one had the dishwasher...etc. During the day I try hard to keep the lawn mowed, the leaves raked, and the house clean and smelling all comforting with the aroma of fresh baked goods. Cinnamon buns, pumpkin cookies, pumpkin cake, pumpkin rolls, chocolate chip cookies and bread are always being whipped up. John loves it.

As for me- I'll probably never touch a bag of flour again once this is all said and done.

Aside from the whole Home Sale/ Home Purchase part of life- things are going well.

It occurred to me today that I am officially entering my NINTH MONTH of pregnancy! Does this not seem like it has been the longest pregnancy EVER????
So far I have consumed 9 prescriptions of Diclectin, downed about 5 large packs of Tums, gone 8 months without yogurt and milk, and thrown up every day at least once.

Please don't underestimate my JOY when I say I have only 28 days more!!

Unless I can do something to shorten that time.

...Anyone know any tricks?

The Colors of Fall

Introducing my VERY MOST FAVORITE season of the year!!!

What's her problem anyways!

Abby's teeth having been falling out lately. I man seriously, she is going to look like a jack o'lantern by Halloween guaranteed! Perhaps the tooth fairy is getting a bit tired of visiting our little home I'm not sure. TWICE this week our babysitter (whom I LOVE) managed to wiggle two of Abby's teeth out.

TWICE this week the tooth fairy has completely forgotten to pay her expected visit.




What is that Fairy's PROBLEM anyways?


It literally broke my heart this morning when Abby came to me with tears and exclaimed that she'd been forgotten again!



"No No honey," I insisted, "The tooth fairy would never forget you. She must just be EXTRA busy right now."


After reassuring Abby that the tooth fairy always pays extra money when she comes late -just to make up for any inconvenience, Abby seemed to perk up a bit.


Deep down though, I fear that I may have forever altered the trust and confidence my little girl had in the make believe.

I'm a Bad Bad Mom.

There is still hope for redemption. Perhaps Santa will be able to restore that trust, for just a little bit longer.

If someone around here can manage to get their act in gear before then!

Now if you'll excuse me- I'm off to find MORE Change!

The Power of Hope

I've been reading Elder Uchdorf's talk recently The Infinite Power of Hope. I have loved every one of Elder Uchdorf's talks, in fact, his talk titled Lift where you Stand, is what motivated me to choose LIFT as my personal theme this year. How have I been doing with that theme by the way?

Don't ask. I'm afraid I've not been much of a "Lifter" this past year.

Perhaps I should have chosen HOPE as my theme for 2009.

I find that I go through these little periods in life where everything seems to require more trust. More Hope. I feel like right now, for example there are many things I find myself Hoping for in any given day. In fact sometimes it seems as though there are so many things I'm hoping for that by the end of the day I'm a frazzled ball of stress imagining all the "what ifs" and all that could go wrong with our plans.

My plan.

In the back of my mind, amidst all the errands, and cleaning and phone calls I am always thinking of one of the following:

Hoping that the offer we received on our home goes through without any glitches.

Hoping that the home we really love and want can be ours, and that it doesn't get snatched up as we wait.

Hoping that this baby will come soon. :)

Hoping that it will be healthy. ...and cute.

Hoping that my volleyball coach husband will actually be able to be there when it is born. Therefore, hoping that his boys lose every game POSSIBLE! (jks)

I know that my worries and circumstances are much less bleak then those of others. In fact, minor in comparison. I find myself hoping for them too.

Like the woman I know who is in the middle of chemotherapy. Hoping she has more good days then bad.

Or my neighbor who has just been told that there is a medical problem but she must wait to speak with the specialist- two weeks from now. Hoping it is nothing too serious.

I love what Elder Uchdorf says about Hope.
"Hope is like the beam of sunlight rising up and above the horizon of our present circumstances. It pierces the darkness with a brilliant dawn. It encourages and inspires us to place our trust in the loving care of an eternal Heavenly Father, who has prepared a way for those who seek for eternal truth in a world of relativism, confusion, and fear."

"Hope is not knowledge, ...it is confidence that if we live accordingly we will receive desired blessings in the future. It is believing and expecting that our prayers will be answered. It is manifest in confidence, optimism, enthusiasm, and patient perseverance."

Whenever I read this talk I find myself asking afterwards, "what am I worrying about anyways?" So much of what we worry about is out of our hands.

And in much better hands then ours.

Abby started piano lessons this week. Her teacher lives a few doors down from my sister so the highlight for Abby is that she gets to walk to Ava and Mya's house each Monday morning after her lesson. I'm not kidding- that is going to be enough motivation to keep her practicing like a good little girl ALL year. And bless her heart,, she needs the practice! It's an exercise for me in patience as I sit with her and watch her plunk out...each... and...every...note...with such caution. I'm hoping that deep down in her is some inherited talent from her Dad and her Grandma Marilyn. Heaven knows it isn't going to come from my genes!


This weekend we enjoyed a nice wiener roast in Waterton. The kids ate very little. Abby spent most of her time cooking hot dogs and marshmallows for everyone else. Off in the distance Sam practiced his jedi/light sabre moves with two roasting sticks, and Jessica tried to master the art of the s'more. She didn't get far.

The leaves have not yet turned the stunning fall colors yet, but they are beginning to. The Elk have started gathering in the lower meadows, and I'm hoping that in the next week or so it will be perfect for pictures!

Friday evening I got to take family photos for a family who isn't even related to me. That doesn't happen often! I was a tad bit nervous, as I really didn't know this family well, and lets face it, I'm really not a photographer. But practice is something I'll never turn down. It turned out to be a LOT of fun.

After we were finished with pictures, John pulled out the old F27 Stryker, because it has become customary to fly EVERY time we are up by the Prince of Whales. Everything was going fine. The kids were enjoying the show, John raked in a few compliments from people watching, the sun was setting, all was going well.

We had noticed a woman in a motorized wheelchair was driving along the edge of the cliff in hopes of getting a picture. Unfortunately for her, someone's PLANE (going at FULL SPEED) HIT HER from behind!

Made her bleed!!!

I didn't know what to do as John apologized profusely, and Sam kept shouting, "Whoa...Daddy Clipped her!"

"Well this is awkward" was the only thought going through my mind.

Luckily this woman was a champ and handled the whole thing so graciously. I love people like that.


I think. I mean, no law suit yet.

No news is good news...right?

I love this photo. Each night when I go walking, and a few times a day when I drive to the Elementary School to drop off/pick up - this is what I get to look at. I find it all looks the best early in the morning, and I can't wait for the days to start getting a bit cooler. That is when (it seems) that the crispness in the air makes the mountains seem so much closer. Fall is pretty much here, though you wouldn't know it by the temperatures. I notice the leaves are starting to change and the wheat fields are all ready for harvesting.

I LOVE this time of year.

On Friday at school, the students were all encouraged to Dress up as cowgirls/boys for a chance to win tickets to the World Pro Bull Riding Competition that would be in town that night. Abby was thrilled to win one of the tickets!

Thanks to Abby's awesome grade 1 Teacher (whom I'm liking more and more every time I talk with her) who gave us her own ticket as well- Friday night turned out being "Family Night at the Rodeo!"

Abby felt special because she had technically scored these tickets for the family. I felt special because I realized that I'm married to someone who looks AWESOME in Cowboy boots!

The rest of the night was a SHOCK! Now, I grew up in a small Rodeo town. Half of the boys in my Grade were Cowboys who probably grew up doing this:


and this! So it shouldn't have been so crazy of a notion to me.
Though I can't understand who - WHO in their right mind would get on a cantankerous beast like this and ride it one handed for any amount of time. Literally these bulls were dripping slobber. And their eyes? ....I think they were RED!

Most of the people around me seemed to be enjoying the show. I watched with my hands to my face fearing for the lives of those...those...I was going to say Crazy Men - but I think they prefer to be called Cowboys!


This though was the clincher for me. Anyone ever watched a game of Mexican Poker. It was highly entertaining...and terrifying at the same time.

What you do is set up a round table and seat for Brave/Crazy Men at each seat. As they "play cards" or sit in fear, a bull is released. The object of the game is to be the last man to get out of his chair.



And as if that isn't exciting enough, if you're lucky and have sat long enough to survive ONE bull... they throw in a second one. Just for kicks!



And when two bulls doesn't quite scare the men out of their chairs they send in the "mean bull." This one will just charge right through it all. Men, table, chairs....
All survived. And I walked out of there promising my Children that they will NEVER NEVER do that in their lifetime.


I love them too much to let them do something so Dangerous. Take this Rodeo Clown for example. True- he was hilarious, but what would motivate a person to chose a career like this? Did his momma not love him?
Nope, my children's safety is my top concern!



Saturday was also nice. John had a couple of adult size bows and arrows in his back room at the School. We took em down to the park and let the kids shoot for a bit. We were impressed that Sam and Abby both managed to hit the targets. And aside from the one instance when Sam shot at John everything went great....

And Yes...Archery is an entirely different kind of hobby.
Any good parent would teach their child the skill of the bow and arrow.

At least that's my story.

Sam's First Day

Since Abby (and John) returned to school almost a couple of weeks ago, Sam has been anxious for his big day too. We celebrated his first day of Preschool today by letting him have Fruitloops for Breakfast. That made his morning!

He was so excited to go that he even let me convince him to wear something other then his Lightning Mcqeen shorts. He was so excited to go to school that he wore his over sized back pack ALL morning long, even though his class didn't start until 12:30. He was SOO excited to go that when I asked him to go potty... he did- without ANY complaint!


oR MAYBE he just pretended to. Because by the time we got to the school, he had to go to the bathroom so bad it was all he could do to stand still enough to let me get this photo.


I gave up. Instead I gave him a hug and a kiss and turned him over to the school system for the first time in his little life.

He walked right in as if he owned the place, which seems typical for my kids. Zero hesitancy, no need for a comforting hug from mom, not a shy bone in their bodies.

After school, I was determined to get a decent Photo of the big guy, and I was expecting more cooperation then earlier.

He was perfectly willing to let his cousins join in his moment. Unfortunately his cousins know how the whole picture thing works. I don't think he gets what I was wanting. This is all he was willing to offer.

A nearby teacher kept laughing at me as I continually pleaded with Sam to just give me one polite photo of himself.

No such luck.

Heaven Help his teachers!

Really, God Bless them.

Don't ask me how I feel about this:

It's official. We've listed our home. Now we have about 9 weeks to sell my garden...er uh and the house too I guess. 9 Weeks! That may very well be impossible, seeing as some homes in town have been for sale for over a year.

But God likes us, so maybe a miracle sale isn't entirely out of the question.

It makes me sad to think of all we will be leaving behind. The garden. John's newly built vegetable pit. Our four newly planted fruit trees, great neighbors and the wide open space. Some of you may not believe this- but it will be hard to replace what this little property has become to us.

Still- little baby is going to need a place to sleep! I'm thinking that we should have perhaps considered this a bit sooner. But that's just how we work around here. Indecisive. Slow to act.

I like to consider us SPONTANEOUS! Yeah, that sounds much better.

Wish us luck!

Busy Busy

Wow this past week has flown by! Abby adjusted well to the whole full day school routine and we all are amazed at how summer holidays can feel "so long ago" to us.


John is in full swing with the whole coaching thing, and it seems at times that we are trying to master some sort of tag team parenting thing. John usually gets home from work around 7 or 7:30. That is usually when I have had to walk out the door for a meeting of some sort. Lots of beginning of the year meetings. Pre-school meetings, registration meetings, information meetings, meetings about when to have the next meeting ....kidding.


It's all helping time go by FAST and I'm liking that. I find myself looking forward to November. In fact that month can't come fast enough! Come November this little baby will arrive, John will be home much more, and hopefully all other things stressing will be taken care of by then. Sure, there is a chance that we could be burried in a couple of feet of snow by then- but so what!

That is when I will be able to sit back and just enjoy it all. That is when the stresses that now occupy a small (ok a large) portion of my mind will be just a distant memory!

Blah. Anyways- because Sunday is quickly approaching, AND because I want to come across as someone more spiritual- enjoy my Sabbath day contribution:

Happy Long Weekend!!

During the day

It's actually REALLY nice having a kid at school all day. Don't get me wrong- I do miss Abby throughout the day. Sometimes it makes me sad to think that somebody else is getting to spend more time with her then I am. However, the full day routine is far less hectic then the half day routine we were accustomed to last year.

Abby comes home full of accounts of her grade 1 size adventures, and finally, FINALLY she has her own desk! This kid is loving life right now.



Batman on the other hand, has had to find other ways to keep himself busy during the day. He misses his older playmate, and never leaves the house without taking a long three essentials. His mask, His Cape, and his School backpack. I'd like to say he's ridding the world of havoc...but at times it feels as though Batman is plotting to do the opposite of that!



And this little girl is completely oblivious of most changes around here. As long as Jess has a pile of pennies to count, or can help me in the garden she is as Happy as a Lark. She's taken a liking (ok an obsession) to Cameron Falls in Waterton, and insists that it is HER waterfall. Aside from her persistant nagging during the day questioning "when are we going to her waterfall," she's a pretty fun little thing to have around.



John is back to teaching and has a full course load this semester and maxed out class sizes. Volleyball season has officially begun as well. I think he will enjoy it all even though it is his busiest time of the school year. I thought of finding a picture of him to post- but felt instead that an absence of a photo might be more desciptive of his existance around here:)

We miss him.

But I'm determined to handle it much better this year then last.

Really, I am.