You were right, I was wrong.

I've been making fun of John now for about twenty-hundred days.   I don't know when it started, but at some point he took an interest in thoe "Minimalist Shoes."  You know, those shoes that cost a virtual arm and a leg, that have precious little to them.  Those ones.   

At first he started running in them.   

Then he started working in them.

Now he even goes to church in them!

He's gone and become a shoe snob, that's what he's done.  In his opinion, if his shoe can not be rolled up into a tiny ball in the palm of his hand, it is not even worth owning.   

He's tried and tried to get me to by into it (or BUY into it:) and I have flat out refused.   For starters- barefoot shoes are ugly.    Secondly, ...well does any other reason matter?

Actually, in truth, I have been completely certain that what these poor arthritic feet of mine need are shoes with support, and lots and lots of cushion.   

Well, John went and bought me my first pair of minimalist shoes this past month and I have to say- 

...I really rather like em.

I like them so much that they are all I wear now!

For the first time in two years, my feet don't hurt throughout the day.

  I feel like skipping and jumping and running everywhere I go.  

But don't worry.  I won't;)

Man, I hate it when he is right!

Check out John's post on minimalist shoes

Front Yard in May

May has brought with it a lot of viruses.   The flu, colds, strep throat....it's all going around and I'm sick of it.   Literally;)   

Luckily, May has also brought some good things as well.    Tulips being one of them.   My front flower bed is beginning to fill in, and even though I am convinced that our house looks like a lodge for senior citizens, I still like it;)    Two years ago, I went down to the creek below our house and flagged a dogwood bush for John to dig up.   Back then it was just a poor scraggly thing.  Now it has filled out beautifully!    

Soccer, Gardening and a little bit of Bicycle Theft ;)

Well May is feeling as though it is almost over, and I can barely catch my breath, time is flying so quickly!   May and June are just jam packed with Soccer, parties, year end festivities, festivals and preparations for Moroni's Quest.   It's all a lot of fun, and in no time it will be summer.  

No doubt summer will fly by, so really...in no time- it will be the fall! ;)   Gulp.

But right now, it is May, and perhaps I just need to calm down and take each day for what it is;)   

Sam and Jess have been enjoying soccer this month.  Sam is actually quite confident on the field and always entertaining to watch.     He really is quite a performer.  In fact, the high school band went over to the Elementary School this week to play for the kids there and Sam apparrantly was quite a hoot to watch.   THREE teachers stopped me at different times that day to tell me how funny Sam was during the band performance, dancing and orchestrating from his little spot on the gym floor.  

 He's quite the Maestro this boy!

Jessica, Nate and I had a picnic down at Lions Park on one of these recent hot afternoons.    As we spread out our blanket and began to prepare our food, we noticed a bike laying nearby, that seemed to be abandoned.    I immediately got all angry and hoitey toitey telling Jessica that sometimes mean people "steal bikes" and then just abandon them in other places, and that it was a very very rude thing to do!     Grrr...grumble....complain....    It suddenly occurred to me that I could take the bike home, photograph it, and post it on our local buy and sell page in hopes of finding the rightful owner. 

   I was feeling quite optimistic that I would save the day!  haha

When John got home, he insisted that he woulda just left it alone as someone was probably coming back for it.    I've learned that if John says he would have done something a certain way, then it is probably the right thing to have done!  

Needless to say, the next day, I took this bike down to the local RCMP station and confessed to stealing it from the park! :)

The last couple of weeks have been focused on our garden and yard.     We got our garden in the other night, right before it rained;)    This year we'll enjoy:  Strawberries, walla walla onions, radishes, tomatoes, squash, cucumber, corn, carrots, beats, chard, beans, and more!   Our haskep bushes are doing beautifully (thanks Chad) as are our Saskatoon bushes, and Raspberries!   And the Rhubarb is out of control!!  I'm going to have to pick and freeze some tomorrow for sure.    

This year we may have gone a bit over board with the Raspberries.   For awhile now John and I have been thinking that these Rhaspberries canes shown above here just weren't going to be enough.

So in true John and Tanis fashion we have commandeered a strip of dirt BEHIND our fence and planted more!   One day there will be more Raspberries here then we will need!  (Is that possible to have too many Raspberries?)

The happiest thing for me this week though has been the sight of this crab apple tree.    The blossoms are beautiful, and I love the way they fall and cover the ground like snow.   It's the perfect thing to stare up at while laying on a hammock- that's for sure!

Happy Sunday!

When a type A personality takes over....

 I recently took an online test to determine whether or not I would be classified as having a Type A personality.    The website that I took the test from described Type A personalities as possessing certain undesirable traits.  To quote:

 "These include hostility, impatience, difficulty expressing emotions, competitiveness, drive, perfectionism and an unhealthy dependence on external rewards such as wealth, status, or power." 

It was my hope that I would find myself at the other end of the questionnaire having proved, once and for all, that I was not any (or all) of the above.    A few seconds into the test though, and I could quickly see where things were going.   For some reason, I defy the rule when it comes to showing up to places on time, but in every other way I am 100% type A!     (Hmmm....That would explain my morning ritual of dandelion picking, and my bi-monthly "baseboard day" in which all the baseboards in my house get a thorough going over.)

Yup.  I am just realizing it now.   I have Type A tendencies for sure.
But in my defense that isn't entirely a bad thing!

Take for example, our garage.    Aka - John's "Lair."

I've been telling John for weeks that we needed to get that thing cleaned up.   Not only is it an eyesore, but it is freaking MAY already!   It's about time we rotate out our winter things with the summer things, is it not?   Besides, its' the last thing on my "spring cleaning list" and I'm tired of seeing it there non the list - unchecked, OK?!

 So, yesterday morning I decided to enter his man cave and clean it up myself.    Did he warn me not to?   Sure.  Perhaps.   But us "Type A people" like to take matters into our own hands, and so that is exactly what I did!    Only, I decided to make it a little bit of an experiment to demonstrate just how much better a place can look in a state of absolute organization.    So, I divided the garage in half with a proverbial line right down the center, and I cleaned MY half from top to bottom, but left HIS half entirely alone.     In the process, I gained a deeper appreciation for what a gift my "Type A-ness" truly is.    If I may just point out a few things I accomplished by cleaning up my half of the garage:

* I was able to sort our winter gear and put it up out of reach, so that the kids will no longer be able to pull each other across the lawn on sleds like they've been doing.  

* I pulled out ALL our summer toys.

* Organized a shelf specifically for camping supplies

* Cleaned out the lockers, filled them with appropriate gear and labelled each one

* I dusted.   Oh yes I did.  I dusted the garage!

* I picked the bucket of poison up off the floor.   (ok, it was fertilizer, which is pretty much poison if you ask me.  So-"your welcome children.  Your type A mother just saved your life!")

* I threw away things that I knew would never be missed.  (Us type A people  don't have time for sentimentality;) 

* And I made $32 by selling some unwanted things through our local Buy & Sell.  (Type A people are incredibly resourceful.)    

I think the proof is in the pudding, is it not?

JOHN's SIDE of the garage

(aka: the death trap)

My SIDE of the garage

(aka: the place where fun and happiness can be found.   literally;)

So, there you have it.  The next time someone speaks about a "Type A personality" as though it is actually a negative thing,  I am going to set them straight.   

 Being a Type A person doesn't make me controlling, or demanding, or unreasonable. 

Being a Type A person makes me AWESOME!! (in a "get things done" kinda way;)  

In fact, I hope John knows how lucky he is to have me in his life. 

 (not that I am "competitive or have an unhealthy dependence on external rewards or praise" or anything like that, I'm just sayin';)

First Picnic of the Year

Last night for Family Home Evening, we packed up our dinner and headed out to St. Mary's for a fun evening of dinner and exploring.    (I don't suppose Max had bargained for that when he joined us for dinner, but quite frankly I hadn't prepared much for FHE so it was the perfect fall back plan;)

Chicken wraps.

Watermelon.

Frozen Yogurt.

Gopher Trapping.

Rock Throwing.

And enjoying a beautiful evening.

Together.

Mother's Day makes me laugh

John and the kids made me breakfast in bed.   It made me laugh.   

Abby kept coming into my room to ask how to make the home made syrup.   I'd tell her the appropriate ingredient to add, and then she'd say, "Got it.   Go back to bed."   

Then she'd be back again for the next set of directions;)  

At one point I heard a giant crash, and could tell by John's frustrated remark that that smoothie had been  spilled ALL over the kitchen counter and floor.    (But not before they'd managed to poor and deliver a cup of that deliciousness to me;)    

It made me laugh.

Then, the kids all filed into my room with plates of their own, loaded with french toast and home made hash browns and a glass full of smoothie (second batch;).    They each grabbed a corner of my bed and ate there, while we talked, trying not to be too messy.   (Needless to say, we definitely had to change the sheets after that.   There is a reason why eating in bed is not recommended;)   

Still, it made me laugh.

But, the funniest part of the whole day was when the kids presented me with their Mother's Day cards.     Each one seemed to be so fitting and descriptive of each of my kid's personalities.   

For starters -Jessica's:

The fact that she believes I'm eight years old explains exactly why she thinks I always want to play barbies with her so much.   What else would an eight year old want to do?   haha.

It was a sweet card, with kind and thoughtful answers.  (and she's right- her Dad does make me happy;)

Then, there was Sam's:

Sam was admittedly slightly off on his guess of my age, but that's alright, I wish I was 40;)

From that point on though all of these answers are a refection of his favorite things, not mine.  As he sat beside me and looked over this list he said, "Oh and mom, I didn't really know what your favorite food was, but KFC is just so AWESOME that I just decided to put that!"    (Oh and PS to our family in Okotoks.   Looks like we need to schedule a visit sometime.  haha)

Abby's Mother's Day card was really something:   

Remember that post a few weeks ago when I'd mentioned the time I had to confess to Abby that Santa wasn't real?   I'm pretty sure that conversation was the inspiration behind the poem she'd written on the back of the envelope.   Perhaps she has some unresolved feelings about that whole experience?

It reads:

Roses are red and so were my eyes

when you told me the truth, 

which was a surprise.

But the past is the past

so here is your gift,

And don't worry- 

it's not the last.

After reading the outside of the card, I was admittedly a bit nervous to actually open it up, for fear there may have been something more guilt inducing inside;)   However, it was the most darling flower she'd made consisting of various petal coupons to be used at my leisure.  (which I plan to;)

After I finished reading each petal, you know getting a feel for what I'd be able to require of her down the road, she looked at me slyly and said, "Hey mom.   Notice that I didn't write anything about "practicing my piano without arguing?"   

She's a smart one, that girl.

And it made me laugh!!

This year, I'm going to Boycott people who want to Boycott Mother's Day;)

Two evenings ago, I came across THIS ARTICLE  about one particular famous model who has joined up with various other "celebrities" and are essentially encouraging woman everywhere to boycott Mother's Day.   The sad, undeniable, fact is that on Mother's day alone, 1000 woman in the world will die due to complications related to child birth.     It is these advocate's hope that by getting Mother's all around the world to "disappear" on Mother's Day, rather then celebrate it, that people all around the world will feel of their absence and the awareness will some how equate into lower mortality rates in the future.      No phone calls.    No celebrations.  No presents.  And most importantly ... no presence.    Women are being encouraged to just simply "disappear."   They finish the video clip by stating that, "Our silence will speak the loudest for all Mothers."

Say what....?

I read the article and watched the short video clip explaining this movement and grew increasingly upset about it, which is kinda weird, because I rarely let things I read online bother me.   (I mean, let's face it, most of it is probably absolute rubbish anyways.)    Perhaps this struck a nerve with me because I already get annoyed each year when Mother's Day rolls around and I hear people complain that it is nothing but a "Hallmark Holiday" or that it is just an excuse for "good moms to brag about how good they are, and for the rest of us to feel guilty about it."    Those comments ALWAYS annoy me, and leave a bit of a sour note on what really could be a well intentioned day in which we celebrate the woman who have shaped our lives.    Perhaps it is the fact that this article was just another notch against my insistence that "Mother's Day really is an important holiday to celebrate" that bothered me so much.     Really though, I think what really made me most sad about this article is that 70,000 woman had already read it before me, and many of them possibly actually bought into the sentiment that "our silence would make the most difference."

Is that what we as woman really think of ourselves?   That by essentially secluding ourselves in one giant conglomerate act of the "silent treatment" towards our family, our loved ones, and the plights of this world, that we will somehow be able to invoke change and make a difference?    Do we really think that the best way for us to raise awareness - is to say nothing at all?   Do nothing?

Wow.   Well, we've really come a long way.

I'm not knocking the cause in which these woman are advocating for, but rather their method.  The sad truth is, there absolutely is a problem in the world today.    In fact, there are probably nothing short of a billion problems in the world today!   What are we going to do?  Withdraw ourselves and "disappear" in "honor" of every single one?

Just how exactly is "forcing the world to notice our absence" going to do anything good for anybody?    Surely there is a better way of raising awareness to an issue, then "disappearing" no?      Oh I don't know, how about, for example,  "forcing the world to notice our PRESENCE!"

Call me stupid, but if I were a world famous celebrity (I know the universe just started laughing right now at the thought of it;)  but basically if I had a lot of clout and knew that people would listen to me- this is what I would say:

This Mother's day - to "honor" those woman all over the world suffering and hurting and going through hard things - I am going to do EVERYTHING BUT DISAPPEAR!   

This Mother's Day- I am going to make sure that I STAND UP.   And STAND OUT!    This Mother's Day, I am not going to sulk away and cower in some lonely self induced state of solitude, but rather I am going to do everything I can to show the world just why exactly the WORLD NEEDS WOMAN!   Why the world needs MOTHERS!     

In short, if I were to start my own movement, it would be to "boycott those who want to boycott Mother's Day," and to instead encourage everyone to celebrate this Mother's Day by doing any (or all;) of the the following possible suggestions:

* If you can, call your Mother 

* Tell your children specific reasons WHY you love being their mom

* Find someone who doesn't have a mother and give them a hug

* Find someone who isn't yet, or can't be a Mother and compliment them on the things that make them great

       *  Accept that you may not be a perfect Mother and then get over it. 

* Accept that your Mother may not be perfect

* Visit a woman who may be alone on Mother's Day

*Forgive yourself, or forgive someone else

* Go the entire day without comparing yourself to a single other woman

* Phone, text, email as many woman as you can and thank them for being in your life

* Make your husband make supper.   And then ask him to give you a foot rub;)

* Contact that Mother you know who is raising her kids on her own and commend her for the amazing job she is doing.

* Write a thank you note for that woman who has always been an example to you

* Recognize that every Mother, "Mothers" differently and appreciate the difference in us all.

* Pick some flowers and deliver them to people.   (Woman specifically;)

*Shout it from the rooftops for all the world to hear that you a) Have a Mother you love, b) Love being a Mother or c) Are grateful for a Mother in your life!  (but not really from your rooftop;)

Those are just a few suggestions about how Mother's Day this year could go down.  But then again, I guess we could all just "disappear" as well.  That would be good to.    (barf!)

HAPPY MOTHER'S Day to you all this weekend, and THANK YOU to the woman in my life who have chosen to NEVER DISAPPEAR but rather to look at this life with all it's ugliness and to make it BEAUTIFUL just the same!

The weed I hate and the flower I love

I can't decide whether or not I like dandelions.   

Sometimes, when I wake up in the morning and see a dandelion sticking up in my lawn, the very sight of it quite literally makes me want to light my yard on fire!     (but don't worry- I won't)    And there are some Sunday afternoons, when we come home from church, that I notice that the sunny day has drawn out a few more of those pesky weeds, and it nags at me something fierce!   There is nothing I want to do more, then go get my garden tools and dig 'em out right that very minute, dress and all!   But John always stops me and says that's "hardly the type of thing I should do on the sabbath," so I'm forced to just leave them and let them exist for one.more.day.       

Quite frankly, I think these dandelions bring out the worst, most obsessive part of me.

But then there are days, when Jess and Nate run to me with their cute dimply little hands full of "flowers" that they've gathered just for me.   I can tell they've put a lot of thought into their bouquet because there is usually a trail of imperfect dandelions, (that didn't make the cut), left behind in their wake.    Nothing but the brightest and fullest will do.       

It's funny how beautiful something can be, when simply given by a two year old.   

If the only thing I ever see are blossoms...

Back when John and I purchased our very first home (remember that home that had taillights) we celebrated by buying four fruit trees, and planting them in well thought out places in our yard.  We had high hopes of enjoying an endless supply of home grown fruit while we enjoyed our charming little life in our charming little home.  (yes...the one with taillights on it;)    

Unfortunately, due to either our lack of foresight (though I prefer to call it spontaneity), just months after planting our two apple trees and two pear trees, we sold that place and bought a new home. 

We had no choice but to leave those lovely little trees behind.   

As soon as we could that following spring, we purchased two more pear trees and planted them in, once again, two very well thought out places.    And we've spent the past couple of years...waiting.

Much to all of our delight, it appears that one of our trees may actually potentially produce.  

  

Still, if no pears ever actually appear -  I think I'd still be perfectly happy to see these beautiful blossoms every spring.    

In Lieu of Holland...

One day I want to go to Holland and walk through a field of tulips.   

For now though, I guess my father in laws back yard will have to do;) 

Pretty isn't it?

The Gold Dodge Caravan

I think it is funny that John and I own the exact same vehicle as John's Dad.  Within weeks of each other, we'd both purchased Gold 2006 Dodge Caravans without even realizing it.    Initially, I thought that was sort of an odd coincidence, until I moved here, and realized that practically EVERYBODY in this town drives a gold dodge caravan.     For the most part, I'm okay with being exactly like everybody else, it's just that I sometimes wish that I could make my own van just a wee bit more distinguishable.  For my sake;)   

For example, one day I headed down to the local Extra Foods to get our groceries for the week.    I was admittedly in a bit of a rush (no surprise there eh John?) and I parked the van in the stall closest to the shopping carts and darted into the store.   As always I took longer then planned, (that may have had something to do with the fact that it was a HUGE shopping list), and after paying for my groceries I quickly quickly QUICKLY pushed the heaving cart to the van and threw EVERYTHING in behind the back seat.    Then, I hurriedly deposited the shopping cart back where it belonged, and hopped into the driver's seat where I finally paused to take a breath.   I sat there for a moment.   I used the mirror to fix my hair which had been blown around by the wind.    I took advantage of the time to glance over my receipt and check for accuracy (just a little habit;)    And then, to celebrate another successful albeit rushed shopping trip, I opened my reward (a Big Turk) and had a quick bite.
    It's only at that moment that I noticed something was a little off.   

...Those...weren't my sunglasses.

....And that ....wasn't my Nova Scotia travel brochure.

....Strangely I saw no trace of crayon marks on the roof at all.  Come to think of it, the entire van was remarkably...well- CLEAN!

I sat there for a minute or two a little bit confused before it all began to make perfect sense.     

If I thought I'd been fast before, then this time I was lightning fast, as I hopped out of that van, ran and grabbed that empty shopping cart and began to fill it with all the groceries, (again) and then wheeled it over to MY van and THREW everything in wishing for nothing more then to get out of that place tout suite!   

I wouldn't be at all surprised if the owner of that van had been standing in the check out line watching the whole thing unfold through the giant windows.   In fact, I'm pretty much certain that there is no way that fiasco could have gone unnoticed.   I'm not that lucky;)

It was one of those embarrassing moments that would have, a year or two ago, absolutely mortified me.     Luckily, (or unfortunately) moments like that do little to phase me anymore.  Perhaps I'm completely desensitized to all things awkward, or maybe I'm just realizing that it is much MUCH better to just laugh at times like this.   

Laughter can be a remarkable coping mechanism;)

The time I broke my daughters heart

Back before Easter, the kids had collected an egg from the fridge and were determined to incubate it in hopes of it hatching - preferably on Easter Morning.   No wouldn't that have been awesome;)    John didn't find it so amusing.   In fact, that little event was a tipping point for John, and he shortly thereafter reached the proverbial last straw when it came to all things "Easter Bunny."     Apparently he had a problem with the way I was letting our 9 year old believe things that weren't true, and more specifically with the way I often go over board to convince her that these things were true.  

   

 Sure, ok, when you put it like that - it sounds kinda bad now doesn't it?  

But I hardly think teaching them about Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny falls into the category of "lying."   Besides, I'm convinced that there are certain lies a mother is eternally exempt from and unaccountable for, no?      Yeah...John doesn't think so either,  and on this particular day, he was ready for me to come clean with Abby and tell her the truth.  The whole truth!  He kindly assured me over and OVER again that Abby already KNEW the truth and that she was just pretending to believe for our sakes, but that it was time.  

So, taking confidence in that assurance,  I kissed "Mr. No-heart" good bye, loaded Abby up into the van and the two of us went for a drive.   I wasn't quite sure how I was even going to bring this little conversation up, but finally after about 45 minutes I stopped the van, turned to her and confessed it all:

There was no such thing as the Easter Bunny.   Dad and I buy all the chocolate.

All those presents under the tree at Christmas?    Dad and I.

That tricky leprechaun that destroys their traps every St. Patricks day?    Totally me.  

That tooth fairy (named topanga) who leaves behind a trail of glitter and purple colored water?

...um...that would be me.

Well, after purging myself of all those lies (cough cough eye roll JOHN;) I turned to look at her to see her bottom lip absolutely quivering and her eyes brimming with tears.    She looked at me sadly and said, "Mom, why are you telling this to me?" 

  My heart broke!  

 I wanted to turn back time just 30 minutes and take her home and go try to hatch a hard boiled Easter Egg or something.    

Well, needless to say it took a multitude of apologies,  but I finally got a smile out of her when I promised that it is much more fun to be on the "knowing side of things."    Actually, I think what really made the difference is that I bribed her with a large Reese Blizzard from Dairy Queen. 

 And POOF!   Just like that, she was a happy girl again.

I'm thinking that I maybe should have started with the Blizzard?

At any rate, our little non believer is fine with it now, and actually looking forward to getting to help John and I as we continue to "lie" to the younger kids;)   Later that evening as I was asking Abby to practice her piano she came to me and quietly said,  "Mom, do you think that maybe I should just have a day off of practicing,  you know, because of all I've been through today?"   

Then at bedtime I asked her if she'd said her prayers to which she replied, 

"Yup.  I prayed that I'd have the strength to endure what you told me!"   

See?   She's not going to make me feel guilty for this at all!   

 I have a feeling I'll be buying a lot of DQ Blizzards before before this kid is grown;)

Just another day of practice

I snapped this photo with the computer just a few minutes ago to document the fact that Abby did in fact finally practice the piano.   Getting her to practice each day has become a challenge like no other.

However,  after 4 hours of asking her to - She did it.

After a kazillion threats - She did it.

After trying relentlessly to get out of the task - She finally did it.

But NOT before turning to me and passionately asking - 

"Whatever happened to Free Agency, anyways?!"

The problem that just gets bigger

It's no secret that folding laundry is my absolute LEAST favorite job to do and probably the one thing I procrastinate without guilt.  In fact,  I've noticed that there is a direct correlation between the amount of unfolded laundry piled up and the mood I am in.      

No pile of laundry = I'm rockin the whole momma thing

 A 5 day old pile in the middle of my bedroom floor =  it's been one of those weeks;)

   

Hence the pile shown here:

That little pile seemed to get bigger and bigger with each passing day.

One morning, as John was getting ready for work, he asked me where his brown pants were.  

Silly Boy!  Where else would the clean clothes be?

Like...Duh!!!!

Saturday morning goodness

Every Saturday morning John gets up and makes a breakfast feast that consists of pancakes or french toast and home made hashbrowns.   John makes the BEST hashbrowns.    

John also lets me lay in bed extra long.   It's the best feeling ever to drift in and out of a early morning day dream to the sound of my entire family in the kitchen as the smell of cinnamon and butter wafts through the house.   sigh...

Inevitably though - John always sends one of the kids in to force me out of bed, because it's my job to make the syrup.

I'm beginning to think I'd better teach him how to make it himself;)

Rainy Day Poem

 It was a beautiful, grey, melancholy kinda Friday this past week, when my sister emailed me a poem that she had written a few years back.     

There is nothing better then a melancholy poem on a rainy day.  Is there?

(PS:  I love the word "melancholy", and I especially love pronouncing it the Megamind way)

So without further ado- Crystal's beautiful (and "mil-ON-kaly";) rainy day poem:

They say the rain pours poets

and as I sit here by candlelight

     I fight the urge --- and I fail.

As through the cracks of my consciousness 

streams the cliched melancholy of my mood

       the shadow of my hand beating against the page 

                             to the rhythm of rain

Oh how I have craved this friend in weather

Perhaps to cry my tears, wash away the fears

and soothe the sting of these burns

As now I can sit in the rain unnoticed 

                            invisible

       I become a part of it and it in me.

And with this new sense of anonymity 

                           I confide

I no longer have to hold my head high

or put on that same stale smile for the gawking passerby

                         But slowly dissolve.

And in the warmth of the morning

I know -- a new day begins.

    I will rebuild.

So tonight I say

                         let it pour!  

                    Im not holding onto these feeling anymore!

               -Crystal Payne